Friday, December 14, 2012

Liminal Darkness

Sitting in the dark while the world is still sleeping is a magical thing. This time of night/morning, this time of transitions, somehow feels personal. It feels like it belongs to me alone, like I am the only person in the world. Sadly I only seem to come here when I am in pain. This pain can be physical, as it is now, or emotional, as it is often. It is a place that I wish I could visit more often when things or going well. Here is the world found after waking from nightmares. This is the place you find yourself in when you wake super early to catch a flight. It is a time of waking up early to finish that term paper, or staying up late to finish reading the required manuscript before a test. This is a time of internal thoughts becoming external. It is a time of liminal space. I can honestly say it is a magical time that belongs to me, just as it belongs to all of you. And, it is better than any movie or book has ever tried to make it out to be. I think I will try and spend more time here on purpose. That thought of, If I only had a little more time in the day, can come true. I will plant seeds of wonder and joy here and see what happens. Will I write a book? Will I create masterworks of art? Will I transform myself into who I am becoming? Who knows? *shrug* But, it will be fun trying.


Monday, March 12, 2012

What was I thinking?

A short update as I have gotten far behind with Pantheacon and other out of town events. I am continuing my tarot a day, but seem to be getting the messages from the cards later and later in the day. Sometimes it takes reflection for me to grasp the underlying meaning, and by the time I do it is far past bedtime. I will continue to post my exploration of the cards, but will do it more slowly. Just a heads up.

Charge of the Dark God

I often take long walks at night with a hot cup of tea and my cellphone, and wander through the city. It is a time to reflect, think, and heal. While the world around me slumbers I take the time to walk through dark places and collect my thoughts about my life. Walking about in the dark brings me a feeling of solitude and sense of completion to my day. What may start as a sun filled busy morning often ends the same way, with a feeling of being hurried and never getting enough done. Away from my computer and out of my apartment I can feel at peace for a few minutes each night while silently walking the streets.

There are a few things that I have begun to learn on my walks. While I may be alone, I am never alone. My shadow is constantly in attendance with me on these lovely walks. He is always listening and watching. He has no voice to the outside world but mine. He cannot act on his own. His movements are complimentary to mine, and never in conflict. He exists only in that moment. For all that he may seem powerless, I feel there are lessons to learn from him.

In my musing upon my shadow one night my mind flashed to the Charge of the Sun God, by the Lady Yeshe Rabbit. This piece has become an important part of my journey into the pagan world. I realized that just as the sun casts light through the day, at night, the light from the moon is an older and more well traveled version of the same light. It is just delayed in its journey as it stops by the moon on its way first. With that thought I began looking for the lessons and wisdom of the Sun God at night. This led to my creation of the Charge of the Dark God. It is written to be a companion piece to the the Charge of the Sun God, to be read following it. But, it easily stands on its own.

Charge of the Dark God

Look within for the wisdom of the Sun God.
The rays of whose fingers stretch across the earth
Whose shadows reveal the secrets of life.

I am the shade of the mountain
and the bed of the rushing river
and the mark of the sacred arrow
and the prey of the wild hunt.

Call unto your soul, "Let go!" And, follow your heart.
For I am the spirit of illumination that grants insight to the souls of all.

By my light journey forth into the Mysteries,
and in your shadow,
seek your destinations and personal truths.

From before my light of flame and sun,
let your shadow stretch to the horizon,
and it's wisdom whisper to your soul.

For behold! All quests of knowledge and truth are my ritual!

Therefore let there be:

Grace within stillness,
Understanding within peace,
Poise within joy,
and vision within restraint
throughout you.

And those of you who seek to know me, know this:
Your seeking and yearning shall avail you not unless you know your divine self.
For if that which you seek you find not in this world,
then you must turn within to create it.

For behold, I have been within you from the beginning ,
and am the moment of between in all things,
ever existing in the past, future and always in the now.

-Gatekeeper Jey, copyright 2012

Friday, February 24, 2012

Old friends and phone calls

As I was working with the Ace of Wands energy today and mulling over what that could mean I got a phone call from an old friend. Actually one of my oldest friends. As we talked I remembered some of our time together when we lived in the same city and all of the fun and trouble we got into while running around. He is a wonderfully adjusted man who is going through problems that many other people face out in the world right now. He lost his house in the mortgage crunch, he and his wife have been struggling with unemployment on and off the last few years, and they have been hit with some pretty hard family problems.

The thing that struck me most through the hour long conversation was that he was still upbeat. He still had joy in his life from somewhere. He was happy. I found that I envied him that happiness. As we continued talking and we compared our lives and he asked about mine, and pulled out little details since we last talked, I realized that he was happy for me. How could he be happy for me when I struggled with all the things in my life? I realized that my unhappiness was not my feeling of now, but a feeling of then. I had been holding on to things from my past that by recounting and filling him in on the missed time resurfaced.

I realized that as our conversation moved from the past to the present and our future plans I was happy. I was joyful at the things I was planning to do, and where I was at this moment in my life. He was living in the moment through our whole conversation. He could see my moment while we were talking. He took joy in where I was. Sean, my old friend, thank you for reminding me of the joys of now. For helping to see this moment for what it is. A constant beginning. Now is a joyous thing.

Ace of Wands

Today I pulled the Ace of Wands. I found this a fortuitous card. I feel this card a wonderful card to follow the Four of Wands. It denotes an abundance of new creative energy. It is a card of beginnings. New people, ideas, and endeavors all may quickly enter your life. It lends itself to many things from love and romance to work and new projects. The trick is looking around to see them. They may not be right in front of you.

The focus is on feeling energized, inspired and ambitious. All these things point towards achieving your potential and an awakening of your ability to plan and execute those plans. The awakening may be one of spiritual awakening or finding that inner drive that propels you to success.

This card's areas of influence in your life are many. In love it shows new perspective for an existing relationship, a way of starting over or rekindling the spark. Or, It could show the wonderful rapidly developing energy of a new relationship. In health it shows the body's revitalization and influx of energy needed to heal and balance the body. It can also show the burst of energy to get up off of the couch and start those lifestyle changes that promote better health. Family, fortune, enterprise, invention; these all can show an influx of creative/inspirational energies.

As pointed out earlier this card does point to a rapid change, an opening of doors, or new beginnings. Be mindful of your thoughts and see where the creative energies take you. If you have many thoughts and can not hold on to them all, journal them and review them later. New people, places, energies, and goals will likely appear in your life. Look for them. Take note of them. They will be important. Maybe not right this moment, but in the future. This is a card of fantastic beginnings, build from this foundation see the signs around you. In the future those signs will guide you towards you goals. Now get up and use that inspired energy. Act on it. Create your world.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Four of Wands for today

I am starting a Tarot card a day to better learn and understand the cards. I have no claims to being a great Tarot Reader, but I will be one day. I thought I would put them online as I was able, to help myself see the journey as it unfolds. You are welcome to come along with me. And, feedback is always welcome.

I pulled the Four of Wands today and was thrilled. It denotes a time of celebration and a reaching of a milestone in your life. There is a feeling of anticipation of being in the air as you jump over the last hurdle . Your feet have not touched the ground yet and your heart is racing. The joy you feel, the exhilaration, is racing through your body. In that moment you are flying and free.

Safety and a place of shelter are also associated with this card, as those depicted were safe enough that they held the celebration out side in front of the castle and not inside. The happiness shown here almost requires a safe space to be had and the friends in the background are seen as safe and trusted friends to be present at this ceremony.

Often this card is seen as success. Other names for this card are "perfected work" or "Lord of Perfected Work." The illustration denotes two people in an outside celebration likely a marriage or other publicly acknowledged transition point in life recognized by the community. It could be a handfasting, a naming ceremony, an ordination. In short it is a shared public recognition of a transitory point in someones life, and a positive one. This is a point hard worked for. They wanted this ceremony and worked hard for it. Now they have it.

Gail Fairfield, the author of Choice Centered Tarot is quoted as it, "manifesting a new identiy."
I find this very true. Each time we achieve public recognition, such as a marriage, we change our identities. My wedding is one of my happiest memories. The love and joy of my family at that moment in time was freeing and I felt like I was floating. My identity changed publicly. I was married to my partner. My internal identity changed. I was someones husband. I can easily see the ties to identity in this card.

The last part I will point out is what I feel in the symbolism of the wands depicted here. As always with the wands they show growth and life, symbolized by the leaves sprouting at their ends. Here those leaves reach for the sky, and the arbor across the tops of the wands creates a doorway. The couple must walk through the doorway towards the reader of the cards. To me it symbolizes the compleation of a joyous journey and the begining of another one as a different person. Not as a completely different person, but one who has grown and changed and brought their sense of self to a new place. The couple must step up onto the platform the wands are on to step through the doorway they create. This means conscious thought, and informed decisions. That is how they got to this point, and after a brief rest they will continue on with their life from a foundation of community and success.

Summary: Success, Joy, Celebration, Completion, Payoff from hard work, Safety at home and in the community, possible end of a journey and beginning of another, and Getting the things you want after working for them.